Step Blog

In most cases, a Step Family consists of one parent with their children in the home and the other parent with their children living elsewhere.  The Couple see child support coming in and child support going out which automatically can set up what appears to feel like an unbalanced situation - the “visiting” children’s parent already taking money out of the household income to pay out the Child Support and then when the children come for a visit, most times the parent pays for activities while they are visiting (family outings). 

It can be a real bone of contention for some families and many disputes and hurt feelings arise.  The following is an example of how one family was able to reach agreement in mediation to help “balance” the situation;

With the visiting children being old enough to contribute around the house - one family decided that between their four children and the parents - Saturday mornings consisted of pulling two chores each out of a hat and everyone’s chore was to be done by a certain time.  All the children were given the same allowance for their chores and as a family they chose what the fun family weekend activity was going to be after all the jobs were done.  With the visiting children taking part in helping to maintain the home it helped them feel included in the “family” while at the same time earning some spending money for the outing.

I’m interested in hearing how other step families deal with Child Support?

Write in and share your ideas…. I look forward to hearing from you.

The findings of three logitudinal studies of marriage, divorce and remarriage became the basis for the book  For Better or For Worse - Divorce Reconsidered  written by E.Mavis Heatherington and John Kelly.  The Virgina Longitudal Study spanned over three decades and is haled as the most comprehensive study on families which encompassed nearly 1400 families and over 2,500 children.  Among the most important findings to emerge and sited in this book are quote:

• Divorce changes people’s behaviour, feelings, friendships, health, and, in the case of adults, their work and sex lives.
• The end of the first year is usually the most painful point in the entire postdivorce period.
• Preadolescent girls usually adjust more easily to divorce than boys.
• Casual postdivorce sex is more emotionally risky for women than men.
• Men and women rarely marry the person they leave a marriage for.

Divorce brings uncertainty, stress and in many cases poverty.   It is an emotional roller-coaster ride for every member of the family and what can make matters even more difficult, everyone gets on and off this ride at different times.

How are you and your family faring?  I would love to hear from you.